I'm about to get "religious" on you but try to stay with me. I'll be back to regularly scheduled Smith Family mundane weekly happenings in a week or so....
Today would be the 23rd birthday of my 1st niece (& Goddaughter), Cassie. Yes, I realize how old that makes ME! Many of you are aware she died at age 9 on Christmas day 1995. I'd like to remember her today because I firmly believe it was her death that led to my eternal life & for that I am so thankful. I know I'll see her again someday & I am happy she is no longer in pain.
I was a teenager when she was born & flew to Chicago with my parents to see her when she was born. She was born with a heart defect & had many surgeries throughout her life. The hospital made an exception & let me in to see & hold her when she was born for only a few minutes. I cannot imagine the loss of a child as a parent. I can't even think about it & my miscarriage is not quite the same.
God can use terrible situations & make good come out of them although I did NOT understand this at the time-it took me a few years to begin to get it. In fact, I was pretty mad at God for letting this happen. Really mad. After all, He has the power to do anything. Why was my family being punished? But I did not have a relationship with God then like I do now. Sure, I believed in a god who made everything but the only time I ever thought of Him was when things were not going my way. "Why me" syndrome I guess. I certainly did not know or understand the Gospel. I just went about life as best I could. Trying to do the right thing most of the time but messing up a lot. I sure thought I'd go to heaven because basically I was a good person & my good deeds far outweighed my bad ones. I think most people who call themselves Christians are probably thinking the same thing. Sadly, that's not how God let's you in & boy was I shocked when I found out. I'm always surprised at the polls or "statistics" about how many people believe in heaven & think they are going there but those same people don't believe in hell. If you believe in one don't you have to believe there's an opposite place to spend eternity? Seriously, does that make sense?
So, Christmas Day is a pretty lousy day to lose a loved one. I know no day is a great day but really that is a hard one. I had gone to meet Todd's parents for the first time that Christmas even though I knew she was getting sick & it didn't look good. That morning my Dad calls to tell me the horrible news. I leave Todd & his family to fly to Chicago for the funeral. What a 1st impression I must have made & how awkward for them! Not to mention the fact that I then had to return to their house for the rest of my "vacation" (which included a New Year's trip to Disneyland-we were not yet addicted to that place. That came in 2004) after the funeral. Christmas will be hard for a few years as I'm still confused & angry at God. I can't even remember what was said at her funeral. If there was a Gospel message in there I was not in the mood to hear it. No way-not yet.
Fast forward a couple years. I spent some time questioning God and His motives. The most I had ever thought about Him in my life. It got more detailed when Todd proposed & we began searching for a church to get married in. When we finally found the right one right in our neighborhood we asked the pastor to marry us. He asks if we are believers which I didn't get as I thought I believed in something. Todd said he had accepted Jesus as a teen but had backslid. I had no clue about Jesus dying for me so he informed us he could not marry a believer & unbeliever. That hurt. I was more concerned at that very moment about MY wedding. The Gospel was explained to me. Later at home I got over myself. I understood the basics & accepted Jesus as my Savior. Obviously, we did get married but I had a lot of growing to do-still do actually (lots more). I made many mistakes & misunderstood many things. I did things the Bible tells us NOT to do. As much as I hate to admit it, I still do.
I even paid to see a woman who claimed to be able to see/speak to dead people or their "spirit guides" which also happens to be a no-no in the Bible. Of course I found this out after I had already done it. I'm naturally skeptical so I didn't quite believe her. I figured everyone she talked to was a plant & pretty good actors. After reading the Bible I figured she probably did see spirit guides but NOT ones from God. Satan can be pretty clever in deceiving people & sending his demons to pretend to be spirit guides in order to dupe us has to be one of his top tricks.
Then one morning I had an absolute peace that can only come from God about how Cassie was just fine & I need not worry about her. She'd be there when I got there.
So I've been a believer for 12 years & have tried to live my life in a way that would show God's love hoping the good things I manage to do would rub off on someone, anyone. Hoping my mistakes would be forgotten as I'm not perfect-just forgiven. I see what's going on in the world today & I'm sickened,saddened,astounded,frustrated, & angry. I shake my head in disbelief some days. The problem I have is I know things have to go this way. It's predicted in Revelation. But I still don't enjoy watching the slippery slope our nation is on. The hope is I know the ending of the story & I happen to be on the winning team. God never promises things will be smooth sailing once you accept Jesus-quite the opposite actually. We're told we will suffer trials & I/we have. But the promise we have far outweighs what I'll go through in the next few years. Before I became a true believer I used to hate having scripture quoted to me. I did not enjoy the feeling of being hit over the head with the Bible. Now I understand those people simply cared about my eternal salvation. I never wanted to hit anyone over the head with my Bible but being a silent witness may not be working for me anymore so if you have made it this far (thank you!)then consider yourself hit. I want you, even if you are a stranger who stumbled upon my blog, to be assured of the life after death that I know I will have. Family,friend,stranger-it does not matter.
Here's the quick version as I know some of you may have the same aversion to scripture quotes as I once had-you know-skipping them completely & only reading the personal writing. It's okay to admit it. I just did! Anyway, here's the gist:
To get into Heaven you need to be perfect. Not just mostly good as I used to think. Perfect.Ouch. That means I'm lumped in with the really bad sinners who murder just because I think ungodly thoughts about my inconsiderate neighbors or the way the people around me cannot drive.
God still wants you there but since you are not perfect he had to give us some help.
Jesus was born to die for everyone's sin.
His sacrifice pays the price for our sins. He did this for everyone-even people who outright hate Him. Wow.
But just knowing this is still not good enough.
You have to believe it with all your heart & ask Him to forgive you for all that bad stuff you have done. Don't get me wrong here-you will still mess up. I'm a perfect example.
Here's the part where I'm likely to offend but it's my soapbox so here goes:
If you don't believe in Jesus you will not go to Heaven. Period. You will go to hell. Yes, it's a nasty thought but sugar coating it may not save your eternal life. It does not matter if you know the truth. It matters if you follow it. The Bible tells us many will stand before God & claim they knew Him. Going through motions of attending church or saying a prayer at Thanksgiving does not mean you know Him. You really have to believe & repent. That's all. It's a free gift if you just ask. Then you'll know where you'll go. FYI:if you've made it this far then you can never claim to Him that no one ever told you. I just did. The choice is now in your hands.
Well, I could go on & on but at this point you are either convicted because God is knocking on the door of your heart,annoyed/terribly offended and done with me & my blog, or you agree with me 100%. I'd be happy to share scripture to back up what I say if you want to know more but I have already explained why I have not. I remember my "lost" days all to well. Scripture is meaningless UNTIL you are ready to listen. Thanks for reading this far:)
Love ya'.
In remembrance of Cassandra Clinton
August 19, 1986-December 25, 1995
